Father’s Day

today is fathers day. I can hardly remember my own father. Like most men in their 50’s my dad is no longer with me. In fact he has not been with me for over 40 years. My personal memories are not that great.

I remember his bad health, not working, smoking, calling me stupid, dying. I remember his strong hands, lean body, bald head. I remember the respect others had for him for his artistic talents. I remember him in my mothers arms as he took his last breath.

I did not cry at his funeral. I was very angry. How could he leave me at that time. Just when I needed him more than ever before. That anger was with me for more than 20 years before I recognized why I was so irritable. It gave way to me investigating finding peace. It gave way to me practicing peace with myself first and then with others.

This strange relationship helped make me who I am today. It was not an easy road to this place that I find myself now. But here I am. Thank you Dad for the wise words you spoke to me. I would have preferred that you were still here. But know it or not, you influenced me in so many ways.

Today I have empathy for those who are not the strongest. I believe in those who others have forgotten. I will give chances to some who may not appear to deserve it. In your own way I learned this from you.

Today is fathers day. My children called me from their parts of the world today. I am influencing them too, whether I or they know it or not.